Well, no fab news I'm sorry to say

Loss was only 1 and a half pounds which takes the total to 1 stone 13 and a half pounds (typical )
So not quite at the 2 stone milestone yet.

(my scales make me 62.1kgs LL scales made me 64.4kgs so I can pretend I have made the 2 stones LOL )

It was really odd as no-one lost anything above 2 lbs this week ~ and those that are left in the group all follow the diet to the letter.

We did talk about it as a couple of people gained a pound and were understandably pissed off!

What cleared it up for me was S saying if all you are doing is having the packs and the water then you KNOW it cannot be fat, it must be fluid retention.

I really feel as though the weather (I know....I know sounds stoopid ) being so very cold must have some effect on the body needing to conserve energy.
I actually cannot remember EVER feeling warm!

This may change on Friday as Hubby and I are off to Tenerife for 5 days

The plan was New York...but I will surely die of Hypothermia if he takes me there

It's all a bit scary as I will be on the packs and no alcohol for the first holiday EVER
S helped me a lot with this last night in group using the thought record format, and we managed to turn the apprehension into some positivity
This is when the group comes into it's own...when you need extra support and encouragement

What can I say?

That's what I get for being all excited......

Half a pound

I am praying for a nice few days ~ maybe a glimpse of sunshine just to brighten this general glumness (not myself particularly, I just tend to notice the knock-on effect in my patients)

April 2nd is Hubby's 40th I am really looking forward to March 28th, as we are going away for a long weekend somewhere WARM!
We are going to go for a last minute thing and take our chances ~ wherever we end up it has to be better than Camberley in the rain

Am on Day 61 and still following the plan to the letter.
Have finally discovered that "beautiful detatchment from food" that S has been raving about since Day 1

Was in the queue waiting to pay for petrol yesterday, right in front of all the goodies (choccie bars, crisps, nuts, muffins etc) and found myself thinking how pretty the wrappers were honestly! The last time I was in that very same place, I damn well nearly hyperventilated with anxiety and deep longing

Also, last night, whilst preparing Hubby big fat juicy steak with peppercorn sauce, cheesy mash and peas I felt nothing-nought-zip-nada-big fat zero and THAT is a first.

I also had a think about when might be the right time to go into management. I am currently 65kgs. We have never discussed a goal weight but in my mind I have 57kgs. My lightest weight ever was 50kgs, and that was pre-babies, early 20's, so all things considered I believe 57kgs to be a S.M.A.R.T goal

I have also concluded that I cannot go back to eating tasteless gloopy stodge - ever!
I am looking at protein and vegetables as a possible, but I know that I will be guided by S. Identification of trigger foods is another exercise yet to be explained, though I have a pretty good idea that mine will include all the carbs and much of the dairy.

It is a bit of a minefield to say the least.

I have to admit that in week 1 when S said to us "you will one day find yourselves wishing you could go back to foodpacks" we guffawed loudly and thought collectively 'yeah, right'

I have to concede that there is a distinct possibility that the woman does know what she is talking about after all

As for my online LL buddies Soozy and Emma.......I am so delighted to see that they have both done so, so well and have zoomed along at a rate of knots
It is weird to hear their up's and down's - so very similar to my own
What is also great is that it is not just my own story now

Day 60 !!!!

Any other time just before TOTM it's water retention,bloating & weight gain.
When I arrived at LL last evening I hung around at the back in an effort to delay the horridness (new word ) that I KNEW was coming when I got on the scales

WRONG AGAIN

Another 4 lbs lost

So...thats a total of 1st 12 lbs (26 lbs ~ can't decide which sounds better )
Scary BMI is now 27.5

E took the group last night as S was on holiday (how dare she? )and explained that the water is responsible for the decrease in nasty monthly symptoms and also reduces period pains! I have consequently vowed to continue the daily 4 litres for the rest of my life!

We were measured again in group which is truly fascinating to watch. E showed us 'the gap' which is done buy putting the tape measure around you where it was on Day 1 of the programme.
I was happy with my own measurements ~ a total of 18 1/2 inches down, but seeing how much the others in the group had shrunk was such a buzz!
Some one had lost 11 inches just from her waist!! One of the others made me giggle as she observed that 'you could fitwhole Victoria Beckham through that gap'

We were all very buoyant after that and didn't get much else done in group, but I think it provided a much needed lift for everyone.

I am no longer hungry thank the lord!
Perhaps it was the old pre-menstrual carb craving thing last week?

Yesterday at work one of the GP's got all flustered trying to work out what was different about me, it was so funny! She lives at the best of times on planet Zog, so for her to notice was confirmation enough for me that my weight loss is at long last noticeable

So, Day 57 today...Start of Week 9.

Day 56

Not much time to update today ~ in between shifts.

Just to report, no lapses just EXTREME hunger pangs!

Went to London on Saturday evening, actually managed to sit in a pub with a sparkling mineral water
Was a bit torturous walking past all the lovely thai/chinese/indian restaurants though

Have weigh-in tonight but am not expecting much as am close to TOTM (again).

Week 9 here we come

Am so happy to report that last night's weigh-in was....BLOODY FANTASTIC

I lost another 4 lbs, bringing total weight loss to 1 stone 8lbs
Scary BMI now 28.1

I know 4 pounds is not a huge amount, but for me it was such a relief to see a significant result after 3 small losses in a row.

We have lost another two group members

S did say that at this halfway point many people just cannot face the thought of spending the same amount of time all over again in abstinence. Personally, I feel happy to continue - even safe where I am and actually the thought of eating 'real food' kind of scares me right now.

In group (what is left of it) we looked at thought records and 'Hot' thoughts'.

Initially this sounded like more psycho-babble terminology, but S actually got us thinking about situations that are familiar to us as individuals and to break down our thoughts and feelings into percentages - the highest percent being the hot thought. We then looked at the actual evidence for that thought. This made me chuckle because there is actually very little evidence ...if any atall for much of the negativity and paranoia that trundles through my pea-brain on a daily basis

The key is to take a step back and try to change the hot thought into a more realistic one. I think that is a skill that requires much practice (like years) ~ but I am going to jot some thoughts down over this next week and see if I can give it a go.

S did say something that really caught my attention.
She said that we would never dream of saying the things that we say to ourselves every day to another human being ~ and if we did say them, someone would probably hit/arrest/sack us or lock us away

That is so true.

Why in God's name do I continuously berate myself for simply...being?

Everything from appearance,weight,dress sense,my home,children, performance at work,driving,sex....
This has to stop! it's no bloody wonder I have been so depressed...and so fat
If someone else was as nasty to me as I have been to myself.....I would have to find some comfort somewhere.....oh yes ...that'll be the FOOD then

Hmmm...methinks the penny may be beginning to drop

I guess there may something in this therapy game after all

It is my birthday this Friday

Traditionally it is the BEST excuse for a boozathon dressed up as dinner with friends.
Not so this year!
Trouble is....am racking my pea-brain to try and come up with something just as fun but that doesn't involve eating or drinking

Any ideas will be very gratefully recieved

Next Tuesday S is going to measure us again and I am actually looking forward to that, as last time we were all really pleased ~ much more with the tape measure than with the scales

I now have two fellow Lighter-lifers keeping in touch via blog (not from my group)

They are both at the beginning of their journeys and so far doing BRILLIANTLY

I am so delighted to have their support here in blogland ~ support and encouragement are priceless gifts.