well it was the weigh-in on Tuesday evening again another 2lbs off!
Total weight loss now 3 stones 7.5 lbs
Scary BMI 23 dead on!

my scales say 52.9 kgs today

Decision time

So after some discussion in the group (have to say my fellow LL'ers are so much better at sorting out my head than the counsellor ) It was decided that 1 more week on the packs and Route to management will begin next Wednesday

There are so many issues relating to food for me that it really took some doing to come to that decision.
I just want to enjoy the experience of being slim and happy but I have to regain some control myself and believe that if I follow the management plan to the letter as I have followed the foodpack programme...it will work.

One of my group pointed out that I had no faith in the LL diet at the start and here I am three and a half stone lighter......why can't it be the same for RTM?

Unfortunately I need to eat to live so unlike other addictions I cannot never go near the substance again so time to bite the bullet

The management programme is low GI and they start you off on one meal and 3 foodpacks a day so I will still have the element of control there.
Plus shed loads of counselling and support over the next 12 months.
When I think of another year of support I kind of breathe a huge sigh of relief....whatever happens It wont be just me anymore

Actually I am quite excited at the challenge

We have had some dreadful half term weather kids are going stir crazy

I can just see the sun trying to peep out as I am writing this

Taking them all ice-skating today! should be a giggle....for them watching me end up on my a$$

Is there a sun dance?
kind of like a rain dance...and if so can someone DO ONE!!!

Day 132

Oh dear ...had plans to take the children to the local county show followed by a long laze in the garden on the hammock

It's raining

It's cold

Yesterday I got on my bike! first time in about 2 years for the time being I think I will try to stick to straight roads found my thigh muscles alright!

Have spent all weekend washing,Ironing,cleaning...nothing left to clean

Guess I am missing my hubby

'tis our small dog's birthday today, 3 years since he came to us....cannot believe we wrapped new collar and lead in pretty paper and gave it to him this morning

I knew I was losing my mind.......

What to do when it's raining ????
Answers on a postcard......actually please post here

Finished CV and begging (ahem) covering letter & posted on Saturday
fingers crossed

Diet wise....tomorrow I have to decide if it's time to finish development and head off into the unknown territory that is Route To Management
I weigh 53.9kgs now.

Funny how the mind works.....began to bargain with myself that when I reach 50kgs I will come off the packs I am just reallly frightened to do it

Am hoping that my counsellor will take control as I sure as hell don't know how to!
It is beyond bizzarre that I miss eating and all that goes with it so very much but feel so safe on the foodpacks and my routine that I could quite happily do it forever

Think I will ask for some help

My sister is away on holiday in Greece.....hubby away....best mate in portsmouth ...woe is me

Result!

Weigh-in last night......Another 3.5 lbs lost total weight loss now 3 stones 5 lbs

I am VERY proud to say that I tip the scales at 8 stones 7 lbs

Scary BMI (not so scary anymore) currently 23.4

I could not stay as my hubby is working away and children would have been home alone so just popped in and picked up my foodpacks for the week.
If my BMI is 23 dead on or 22 point something next Tuesday I will move into what the call Route To Management (RTM)
As I understand it this is where the counsellor 'teaches' you to eat again - sounds weird but I have no clue where to begin!
You would think I would want to nosh everything in sight, but actually I feel very safe on the packs as I do not have to choose anything beyond which flavour to have

So the counselling will continue which has to be a positive thing, and the packs also continue but become less as you introduce different foods. (I think that is how it works)

I must move with it with a positive mind set
and truly believe that like S,G and K who are all years post-LL - I will not gain the weight back again

Having this new energy and confidence has changed my whole life.........why would I want to go back to the old miserable,paranoid sluggish individual that I used to be?

Answer = I DO NOT AND WILL NOT

Soozy, the theory regarding my Robins and the cat would have been feasible but for the fact that the cat would have had to absail up the side of the house to reach the nest lolD
Whatever happened...they have gone..but It was nice while they were with me

I am busy re-writing my CV as I am considering moving back into the NHS as a theatre nurse.
I have been a practice nurse for the last 3 years (used to be a sister on a busy medical unit) and now I feel confident enough to get back 'out there' so fingers crossed I can pull it off

I miss my Hubby loads - he is away for 3 whole weeks in Europe the house is tidy and organised,the ironing is all done and the toilet seat is down but the other half of me is missing and I can't wait for him to come home.
By then we will be able to share that bottle of bubbly that has been sitting in the fridge since christmas (one glass and I will be zonked after no alcohol for 5 months )

Have a good week and should you happen to see the sunshine on your travels........please direct it towards Camberley

Very worried Went to look in on Mrs Robin and her family of 4 only to find an empty nest!

Not even a feather left

no sign of Mum anywhere either.

I am a bit sad.....they were only 10 days old, surely that's too young to fly?

Quick LL update....lost another 1.5lbs last week and scary BMI 24.1

S reckons another 2 weeks of packs...and I am relieved as am suffering from mouth ulcers and serious eyelash alopecia

Aiming to begin management in 3 weeks so it's all good

where oh where has the sunshine gone to???

anyone with any ideas on my baby robins please let me know

As this is my sort of personal diary to reflect upon when I need some inspiration to avoid putting back on all that I have worked SO damn hard to lose, I thought I should record my loss in inches so far.

Bust now 35" that's 6.5" off
Waist now 27.5" that's 10" off
Hips now 34" that's 8.5" off

so in total I am 25 inches smaller!
oh yes and one shoe size down!!

I am still a bit bemused that my losses are less than the rest of the group as I am shorter and have less to lose

S told me that It takes less energy to burn fat from a small person than a larger one

maybe one day I will find someone who can explain that properly?

I am counting down the days until I can begin to eat again even chicken breast and lettuce leaves sound like luxury at this moment in time!

My Robin family are still doing well and remain safe
the babies are very noisy - I do feel sorry for the mum....she looks knackered!!

Gosh! Doesn't time fly?

Last Tuesday evening's weigh-in saw another 2.5lbs off total loss now 2 stones 12lbs (more by my scales tho')
Scary BMI is now 24.8 = HEALTHY!!!

Had a chat with S and now I have a goal! Am aiming for BMI of 23 which equates to 53.4kgs
at least I know where I am headed - finally

My scales tell me I am 56.5kgs and LL scales put me at 58.7kgs, but whichever way I look at it I am getting there.

I still have not deviated atall (I can't believe that either but it's 100% true) not so much as a grain of rice or a lick of cake mix from the spoon

My motivation was helped along by the fact that I am sitting here in size 8 jeans Also I recieved my before and after pics from S on Tuesday evening OMG! How did I fool myself for so long??? The difference is astonishing..I will post them here when I reach my goal weight (if I am brave enough)

I am so happy that I did this...my confidence is back and I am feeling good

Four new members joined our LL group last week which was a bit weird as we are week 16 and thy were on day 3.
After some initial stumbling we all relaxed and I guess It's good for them to see how well we have done and that it will work if they stick to the programme.

New sexy car is sitting proudly in my garage....just need some sunshine so I can have the roof down

I have been looking after a robin's nest that the mum made in the little gap we have for an air conditioning pipe in our bedroom, yesterday the babies hatched Awwwwwwww I have been watching mummy Robin come back and forth with little tit-bits for her 4 offspring and I was actually welling up!
The wee ones are so...........vulnerable

I will take some pics in a few days, but I don't want to stress the mum at the moment.